And so, at some point in your life, you will wake up and find that your employer no longer loves you.
OK, they never actually did. And that is completely normal. But for some unknown reason, nobody tells you that upfront. A very strange picture is painted about how a company cares for its employees. But that is not its purpose.
The whole HR-arena is a completely misrepresented area of business, but I won’t even get into that.
In the last few days of employment leading up to my impending freedo(o)m, I found myself in uber-project-manager-mode, planning my intricate and strategic chess moves to sort my life out post-retrenchment.
And I actioned them.
Step 1, 2, 3. Mails bombarded my contacts, researching rates, routes, and other realities.
Plan, schedule, execute.
But nothing really came of it. Most people out there are too busy hustling to make ends meet for themselves, and they don’t have the capacity to worry about the potential non-meeting of your ends… and you can’t blame them either. Times are tough in South Africa.
I planned a bunch of small DIY projects at home that I hadn’t had the time or energy to complete previously.
I couldn’t find the raw materials or supplies I needed.
At various suppliers.
On various days.
And then I stopped.
Sometimes the Universe just wants you to slow down and re-evaluate things, one day at a time. (You know that thing about living in the moment or being mindful? Yeah, that.)
It’s not like it’s news to me, but I do know that I’m generally a really bad student and I often, stupidly, ignore the glaring neon billboards that The Universe puts up next to the Highway of Life.
So here I find myself swanning from coffee shop to coffee shop to find inspiration for my writing or songwriting; to avoid the feeling that I’m staying in bed all day; or any other unemployed person cliché.
There have been a few helpful people who were keen to meet, to share insight and perhaps help me start a business. There have been a few people who really have not bothered to help me for five minutes even though that’s all I need. All talk and no action. The lesson here is that other people can’t solve my problems for me, or make my decisions for me.
At least, armed with my laptop and a backpack-full of other gadgets, I look like I have something useful to do there.
Due to this partially-pointless pastime, I’ve realised:
1) I drink way more coffee than usual.
2) My laptop’s battery life is DISGUSTING.
3) When you really have something important to do, all gadget batteries will die.
4) There are many ways to waste time that don’t even leave you feeling better about life.
5) The Universe conspires, A LOT.
So, I’ve decided to allow myself some time to grind to a halt, achieve NOTHING, and just BE.
And I will be irritated at first,
and I will feel like I’m wasting time,
and I reckon I will survive anyway.